Monday, February 22, 2010

Burning, burning -

This is the post that has absolutely nothing to do with anything except for the fact that my mouth is burning. Intrigued? Read on ....

I was hungry (the end. oh, wouldn't you all love it if the post stopped there) haha. I had just spent 2 grueling hours researching 50mm lenses for Nikon (don't even get me started) and 30 mins. looking at cowboy boots that would fit me if they made the boot the exact mold of my foot, and never otherwise, and howtheheck do they expect me to be able to dance Cotton Eyed Joe in a 3" heel? It's like they never even considered it!!

*Caution: this post may be long/rambly/ranting and due to rabbit trails*

My lips are burning. Back to that reason ....

My darling mother who tries so hard has made a mistake. Because Chili & Lime Tortilla Chips are NOT Jalapeno & Lime Chips that I so clearly adore. I opened up the bag, ate a chip, and thought - "Gee. That was really hot.". *insert music that might insinuate it would have been smart to stop there with one chip*

But I went ahead and munched on another chip, because I wanted to finish the salsa that rocks my world into joyous pieces, and there were only 2 teaspoons left in the jar. And we all know it is SO wrong to just leave 2 teaspoons of a good thing uneaten, for pete's sake! Third one - a slow chomp. Fourth chip down, scooping up salsa. Fifth down, eyeing the chip bag, and wondering what is so different. Sixth down, more salsa ... less chip. Seventh down, slathered with the last of the salsa. Eighth alone. BAD IDEA.

I grab the beloved salsa jar and a spoon, and scoop out all the juice, and swallow that down. Then I lick my lips ... and all that little powdery chip spice wreaks havoc on my mouth and my sore tongue (that had me spitting blood last night) .... (something tells me, my mom won't like that I just blogged that). Ahem.

Without thinking, I shove three more chips in ... one after the other ... maybe just corn chip will kill the ...... the ..... BURN! No more salsa. What now. Thank goodness I have water, we are so blessed with having water on hand .... and .... I forgot that water makes it worse .... ohhh, burning burning ... unlove! ... SUGAR! I need sugar!! So I grab another teaspoon and smear raw honey on my lips and shove a tsp. into my mouth, ahhh ... sweet, sweet, sweet relief. Thank you God, for honey in desperate measures.

Now, you may all be thinking that I am a wimp. Go ahead. I don't care. The main problem is that they are not the Jalapeno Lime Chips that are sort of Sweet/burn your mouth-hot. These Chili Lime Chips are - There is no sweet in it, so you will cry and I want you to suffer-hot. The difference is the SWEET.

* My lips are chapped now.

I think by the fifth or sixth chip, I was wishing that I had more closely perused the difference of how hot Chili was from Jalapeno. Clearly, Jalapeno should be more hot. I blame the chip people. Because those chips had me Stompin' at the Savoy. That has nothing to do with anything other than I've been wanting to say that all day since earlier when I watched THIS video, that had me tappin my feet and laughing the entire way through it, and thinking of ... my mother. She probably can't read that.

I am in love with this song as of now.


It just gives me such fond remembrances of my Mother's side of the family. Moments that make me wonder in the thick of the ride either: "This is the best night of my life! I love feeling the wind whip through my hair! We're flying!!" OR "I can't believe we are doing this, I'm not even going to remember this, because we are going to diiiiiiieeeeeeeeee!!!".

Ahem. I will say no more. Other than ... they really are great drivers. As long as you don't put two together, and say - "Beat this!!".

And that was 30 minutes out of my afternoon today, folks! Later to be listed ... or perhaps not ... a list of today's things I am thankful for!! Top on the list - wonderful family, and one of my best friends ... perhaps NOT making it on the list - the burn experience in my mouth.

With love, and laughter,
~ Jean Marie

P.S. Oh ... and after I finished the honey, I chowed down 2 sticks of celery and ranch dressing (still trying to kill the leftover burn), and then a whole whopping tablespoon of thick peanut butter, which made me halfway choke, because I can't eat and swallow peanut butter and breathe at the same time, because I can't inhale through my nose, and my throat was full of the peanut butter. HAhahaha HAHAHAHA. It's exactly what I would do. *slaps self on head*

5 comments:

Benjamin Serven said...

Jean,

That song is HILARIOUS!!! Made my day...

Benjamin

Jean Marie said...

Isn't it?? It made mine too!!! :D

Jeff said...

HAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA

Katie said...

Go get some aquaphor, (they have it at WalMart,) and it will make your lips sparkling, soft fountains of health in two days. I promise.

Emily Elizabeth said...

"She probably can't read that." made me laugh SO hard!! I feel really mean now. Haha
Oh and that song, fantastic. Brad Paisley should've won the CMA's best entertainer and all that...but I'm not bitter...no worries. ;)
I'm sorry you had a bad chip experience. One time by brother had chips on the couch, and it was dark, and i thought they were little tostitos, but they weren't, they were some peppercorn nasties. I wasn't too happy. Funny now, but then...not so much.

Love you, can't wait to see you!!!
Em