And in the fog -
(North Carolina heavy clouds full of sleet and snowflakes - October 28th, 2011, NCFIC)
"For I know that the Lord is great, and our Lord is above all gods.
Whatever the Lord pleases He does, In Heaven and in earth,
In the seas and in all deep places.
He causes the vapors to ascend from the ends of the earth;
He makes lightning for the rain; He brings the wind out of His treasuries."
~ Psalm 135:5 - 7 ~
There I rested in the stairwell against the cold glass. Knees tucked up, ipod plugged in, my eyes matching the sleet that fell against the glass, wind-driven to slide down in water form, little drops of cold rain. I knew what they felt like - holding on for dear life to the glass, but sliding down in all liquid form of flowing grace. Here was something to see and understand. Here was quiet and nothing to understand. Here was everything that didn't make sense, all on that glass pane of window, 3 stories up.
Watching the fog and heavy cold rain laden clouds wisp their way into everything. Between the trees, around the buildings, shrouding everything bright of fall, in a white-grey blanket. Dewy wet upon the leaves, upon the slippery sidewalks and steps, soaking into the mountain earth, and resting none too gently upon the heavy heart of mine.
Beautiful, wonderful mountain weather, and my poor soul. As I pressed my one finger to trace the freefall of rain down that glass window, another drop of water mirrored its fall, down my cheek, and another, on the other side. For who knew one could ache so much and be still living? Who knew? Who knew we would be here, where so little makes sense, and Heaven makes more sense than anything, because it's where Jesus is. Abba, we call ....
I was there, but so was He. As I slipped off that stairwell ledge, and climbed back down the stairs to go join in more fellowship, I looked at the lamps, coming on in the dark. One here, one down the hill. Throwing lightflare into that mist, golden comfort shining in the crying Heaven. He is always here.
"Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence?
If I ascend into Heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, You are there.
If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
Even there Your hand shall lead me, and Your right hand shall hold me.
If I say, "Surely the darkness shall fall on me," Even the night shall be light about me;
Indeed the darkness shall not hide from You, but the night shines as the day;
The darkness and the light are both alike to You."
~ Psalm 139: 7 - 12 ~
In the dark, in the light, in the cold, in the sleepless night, in the prayerful morning, in the fog
- You are with me always.
~ Jean Marie ~