The Lord is good -

The Lord is good.

You have no idea how hard it is for me to say that sometimes, or perhaps you do know... perhaps you've been where I am, or known what I'm feeling, or don't want to feel, and you have not wanted to say those words, you have not wanted to HEAR those words, and when people told you what you already KNEW, even though you didn't want to believe your own heart ... when people told you that

... you got stark, raging, angry.

I did. Maybe I should say - I have.

Because let's be real - it's happened a lot, and will happen again. :)

In the midst of extreme pain, I didn't want to believe that the Jesus I love and adore would really do what He just did, and that He knew it .... He ordained it so.

* Okay. So now I'm freaking out, because I just shared my heart, and I'm thinking - "oh great. Jean, you are going to get SO many e-mails telling you how to trust God, that He is sovereign and that you can't doubt Him. DO NOT SHARE!!!" *

I'm sharing anyway. Because you already know what I'm talking about. Right? Right.

So after the anger wears off, and the tears subside for the 50th time, and you let your friend hold your hand again, you realize how you can't do this by yourself ... that the very One that you were just angry with, is the One who died for you, and whose will is perfect and GOOD, and how even though you don't, and can't understand .... that it is in these moments that you need Him ... oh, SO much more than ever.

The Lord is good, and His mercies endure forever.

All my steps are ordered and ordained by the Lord, not one do I take that is out of His plan, not one comes as a surprise, never do I "walk out" of the protection of His hands, nor the sight of His eyes. He is Emmanuel - God with me, God indwelling. Oh, blessed thought!

When it seems that we can bear no more, when I just shake my head, and pray that I receive no more "bad news just this week...", I am reminded that He doth not give more than I can handle, in His presence, what can we not handle, when He is by our sides?

"He giveth sufficient grace".

"I know, we may say, that Christ is kindest in His love when we are at our weakest; and that if Christ had not been to the fore, in our sad days, the waters had gone over our soul." ~ Samuel Rutherford.

"When we shall come home and enter to the possession of our Brother's fair kingdom, and when our heads shall find the weight of the eternal crown of glory, and when we shall look back to pains and sufferings; then shall we see life and sorrow to be less than one step or stride from a prison to glory; and that our little inch of time - suffering is not worthy of our first night's welcome home to heaven." ~ Samuel Rutherford

"When I saw the sun shining on these bricks, turning them into seemingly "gold bricks", I thought of heaven, and the verse that talks of the New Jerusalem - "The city had no need of the sun or of the moon to shine in it, for the glory of God illuminated it. The Lamb is its light." ~ Rev. 21:23

When He gives and when He takes away ... still HE IS FAITHFUL!

In everything and in all times, He hath given rest, He hath brought others to bless and encourage ... He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds ... "to comfort all who mourn, to console those who mourn in Zion, to give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they maybe be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified." ~ Isaiah 61:2-3

I have learned. I have tasted. I have seen.

The Lord is good, and He is faithful.

So thankful for the One who truly understands it all,

and gives the grace to rise every morning and say

"I've dropped anchor in your promises, and I'm holding on,

'cause You are faithful, God, You are faithful."

~ Jean Marie ~

6 months

I love you, my dear friends .... you know I do.

"Sure I am, He is the far best half of heaven; yea He is all heaven, and more than all heaven." ~ Samuel Rutherford ... excerpts from

"The Loveliness of Christ".