January 26, 2015

Photo taken 3 days after Avery was born - January 29, 2011

"If I say, "Surely the darkness shall fall on me," even the night shall be light about me;
Indeed the darkness shall not hide from You, but the night shines as the day;
the darkness and the light are both alike to You." ~ Psalm 139:11-12 

Today a very special little boy was born to some very wonderful friends.
I cried at the news, sobbed with joy and relief at the sight of his face for the first time. He was here!!! 

4 months later, I would hold him in my arms for the first time, with tears streaming down my face. I would sing hymns over him in the church I'd begged for his safety, and I'd take him to my beach on a cold and windy May Day in 2011. Oh, he was here, and every moment was rapture! 

One year and 3 days later,
I stumbled from my computer into the living room and let out a wail that came from my soul
so deep I've never heard it again, and my Daddy caught me before I hit the tile floor. 

Avery was gone. In the arms of Jesus. 

The pain is excruciating and visits often, the price for loving so deep, so hard, so much. 
There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of him, or know how he impacted and changed my world.
Avery was a gift and he is very much missed by his Auntie Jemmie. 

Happy 4th Birthday, little man. 

You are more alive than I've ever been, and more known than we can dream.
You are always in my heart, and I'm dreaming of the lovely things you are seeing every day. 
I will see you soon, and know "joy no one will take from you".
I'll go to bed tonight knowing that you are safe with Jesus, and His love for us is greater than we can imagine.

With love always, I'm saving up all my hugs and kisses for you until I see you again, 
~ Auntie Jemmie ~ 

2 Years ago, I wrote THIS - the story of the night he was born.