Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Prayers for Wade Williams -

I haven't known how to write this, haven't wanted to write this, haven't wanted to believe the battle is almost over. I feel as though a million words are begging to be said, and yet words cannot truly tell how much you love someone, and ache when they ache.....

It was a few days after Barberville, it was April 4th, and I was house sitting for some friends. It was a calm afternoon, and I logged into my CaringBridge site for some updates that quite frankly, I never processed very well because it all seemed so surreal. The dogs all looked up in worry as moans, deep moans broke from my throat. The moans that come from the forgotten broken part of your heart. Moans of disbelief and pain, of deepest sorrow... moans only the Spirit can translate as prayers. 

I cried the rest of the day. 

Because there are no words to say when one of your daddy's best friends in the world is dying of cancer. 

That night I was banging around in the kitchen, trying desperately not to scream, and I finally called up my parents .... and Daddy already knew. He had read the update a few days before, he had already known that things ... that ... how do you write this? That Wade would not be long here. 

on Facebook a few minutes later, I wrote this: "I just received bad cancer news about a dear family friend. Broke down in tears and called my Daddy on the phone, only to have him tell me that being with Jesus is all we all long for anyway, and that Jesus knows our pain. Started crying all over again since it's his friend that is going earlier than we wanted. Brokenhearted and thankful that Jesus changes everything for us." 

The rest of that week was a blur of pain. The weekend following, I was hosting a table at our church's ladies tea, and as I wrapped up piece after piece of my grandmother's china to take over, I finally burst out something in a flurry of tearful, broken words to my Mom. 

"You know what is absolutely stunning? That for 2 years....TWO YEARS....you can wake up every morning and tell yourself that Wade is not going to survive Glioblastoma, and then you get the news one day that he is dying, and you are stunned and shocked beyond all belief. As if you didn't tell yourself every single day that he was dying. As if your heart beyond all reason continues to hope, even when your brain refuses to believe anything close to hope. Unbelievable." 

Unbelievable. And yet true. Oh, the tears. We've all wept over Wade having cancer. 

He was diagnosed 2 years ago, May 4, with a brain tumor. Brain tumors are bad enough....but Glioblastoma is something no one ever wants to hear. There is no cure for Glioblastoma, and a very low survival rate, and yet Wade has fought valiantly for two years. 

From the very beginning, Wade has said "the secret things belong to God", which makes me smile so much, because that is so like the Mr. Williams I know and love. 

When someone you have known your whole life, and your Daddy has known for at least 40 years, your memories and your past, and your whole world seem tied forever to them. Tied in laughter and tears, tied through the home-goings of my Daddy's parents, tied through hearing story after story after hilarious story of Wade & Daddy growing up together and playing guitar together. Every year for Thanksgiving, we would go up to Atlanta to spend it with my Daddy's parents, and every year, we'd get together with Wade and Jennifer Williams, because Chelsea was around Kim and I's age, and we were like three peas in a pod. "Dangerous" adventures, and hikes and parks and games .... and Moe's. "Welcome to Moe's!".... walking into the church they attended back then was like going to my second home, I thought. It was a wonderful time....and the people we loved were there.

I remember distinctly when Mr. Williams used their own tickets and took Kimberly, myself and Chelsea to a dramatic reading of The Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe .... We didn't know how good it would be, and we sat there spellbound and riveted as voices swirled over us in the semi darkness of the theatre. 

They are dear, dear family friends. Here is a video that Perimeter Church made that year after his diagnosis: 


and now we have come to the Shadowlands....to the Valley of the Shadow of Death.

And even though we do not walk it with Wade literally, we walk it with him emotionally and prayerfully and mentally, we walk it from 495 miles away, from FL to GA. Our hearts are with them, and our prayers have dug deep wells full of expectant grace for them that we know the Father is giving them. We feel it in our prayers and we think of it at night, we see it in each other's eyes and we know it in our hugs and tears.

And I am not at all walking it as bravely or well as Wade and Jennifer are.
I'm listening to this multiple times a day. Every day. All day. This. This by Shane & Shane & Piper.

And now I am asking you on behalf of Wade & Jennifer and their children - Heather, Rebekah, Chelsea and David and their spouses and grandchildren - to come before the throne of mercy for them, and ask God's richest mercies upon them now.

From Wade's wife Jennifer - "This is the most difficult post to write as this all seems so unreal. 
Things have shifted in the last few days and it looks like Wade is nearing his journey home to be with Jesus. 

My greatest desire now is that he be as comfortable as possible. These last several days have been hard as things have shifted, and we are all pretty tired. So, we would ask for your prayers that the rest of the journey would be peaceful, and without complications. As is typical throughout the journey, there are patterns, but everyone is different. I also would ask for prayer that God's timing would allow our family to all be present to walk with him as he finishes his journey to the gate." 

I found this quote and immediately thought of Mr. Wade, and sent it to them a few weeks ago -

"You shall not lack a Rescuer when you most need Him. The Pilot, who has conducted you across the stormy main, will not resign the government just as the vessel enters the deepest haven. The Captain, who has conquered for, and conquered in you, will not leave you when on the eve of the final conflict and the certain victory. Oh no! Jesus will be with you to the last." 
~ Octavius Winslow ~ 

Please be praying with us, friends....we would covet them for the Williams family.

Our hearts are breaking and we have many questions and tears, but we know Wade will soon be Home, and will see the Savior we all long to be with, and will be able to sing and play guitar (his great joys), and we will all be there with him soon and forever.

"I would have despaired unless I believed I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." ~ Psalm 27:13

We love you, Wade and Jennifer and family! We love you so very much. Our hearts are with you. 

With love always,
~ Jean Marie ~

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